Are you a good listener? Do you think so?
Today we're going to talk about listening using those ears that we have. We will discuss the top listening problems and what we need to do instead. As we all know we have two ears and one mouth but I'm here to tell you that we're not so great at actually using our ears and we're going to talk about what the challenges are with that and how we can be better listeners.
I want to make sure that we all understand that there are some myths about listening that we all have and we're going to go through a quiz to see if you are as good of a listener as you think you are. Research is showing that people don't really feel heard if these are the things you do - keeping your mouth shut, if we go uh-huh or not our head or like we're following along, and just repeating back to the person what they said. Listeners ask good questions and not about like random things but about what the person is talking about to drive that deeper to help them maybe see a blind spot that they have to maybe change an opinion that they have and to really listen to help the person.
So let's go through a list of some listening problems. I'm going to pick a few of the big ones and see which ones do you think you do.
“I stopped listening and think about something else when the speech is uninteresting.”
“When it's something that you don't care about do you just like tune it out and go on to something else and really not pay attention.”
“I find it hard to listen to things on topics on which i feel strongly.”
I think about why you might want to hear that other person's opinion. I teach this we talk about making policy changes and policy shifts and if you want to change something that's going on in the world well you have to actually know and understand the other person's point of view if you're going to make any effort to change. You need to know why something is the way it is today and you need to listen to why they believe and feel that way. If you don't, you don't have a chance of making a change because you don't know what kind of pushback you're going to get on that plan so listening to things that you don't feel strongly about is really important.
Let’s take time to actually listen and write down the things that we want to potentially know at the end. If we don't give them the opportunity to really speak their mind and to share how come they feel the same way or how they got to that decision if we don't even listen to that then we're too busy thinking of something to respond to and oftentimes they've already answered that question.
Why are we not listening? We have two ears and one mouth. We should be figuring out how to listen to each other. The more we learn to listen to one another, the better off we're all going to be. If you want to know more about listening, I’ll release this particular 20 questions so that you can figure out whether or not you have a problem.
See the video below to know more about the Top Listening Problems and what we need to do.